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In its most common form, “ass” means one’s buttocks, rear end, behind, etc. The slangy use of it, though, means fool or stupid person.

You can probably see how that came about: an ass is a taboo place on the body because that’s where we excrete our waste. Nobody wants to be associated with excrement. So “ass” is used in all sorts of ways that are negative. The British equivalent and the older form, “arse”, is understood by Americans and Canadians, but they only tend to use it themselves self-consciously when making reference to the United Kingdom or English spoken on other continents.

“Ass” is informal enough that you’re unlikely to hear politicians use it in interviews, yet a parent might publicly say “Move your ass!” to a poky (slow-moving) child. It would be understood by onlookers that the parent was upset or frustrated because it’s a bit of an impolite way to say “hurry up!”

“Move your butt!” would be a politer, milder way to say the same thing.

“Get your ass in gear!” would be a ruder way of saying it. As you can guess, “to get your ass in gear” comes from putting the engine of a car in gear.

“Get the lead out of your ass!” would be an even ruder way of putting it. Lead is a heavy metal, so if one is said to have lead in one’s ass, they act as if they’re slowed down by a heavy load.

In all three of those phrases, “ass” and “butt” are used to mean an entire person. They are “meronyms”, which means part of something is used to mean the entire thing.

“Haul ass!” also means “move faster!” Interestingly, in this case “ass” is working as a mass noun, as opposed to a count noun as it usually does. A mass noun is one, like “sheep” or “fish”, in which the plural word is the same as the singular.

In very recent slang, you’ll find “ass” as a mass noun in expressions like “That smells like ass!”, meaning that it doesn’t smell very good.

Back to nicer “asses”. A parent might also say “Don’t be a pain in the ass” to a child who is being difficult or annoying. In that case, a “pain in the ass” is an informal, not very polite expression that means “something bothersome or annoying”. It refers only figuratively to an actual ass.

Another way in which “ass” is used is as an intensifier. By tacking it on after an adjective or noun, you can emphasise its meaning. This is what linguist Diana Elgersma’s humorously calls an “anal emphatic”.

For example, “That is a big-ass piece of cake” means “That’s a very big piece of cake”.

“That’s a crap-ass computer” means the computer is really bad. “Crap”, as I’ve mentioned here before, is an informal way of saying something is poorly made, poorly operated, or overall just a sorry-assed thing.

“That’s one sad-assed cake” means the cake is poorly made, small, or in some other way not a very good cake at all. It’s kind of sad-looking.

“The cop was a real hard-ass” means that the police officer was firm, obstinate, or harsh in his treatment. To be “hard” in this context means to be stern and uncompromising.

“That was a crazy-ass party” means the party was chaotic in a good way. Crazy here means disorganised, confusing, crowded, or loud, which, in this case, are all good things.

“He’s a bad-ass” is a bit more complicated. “Bad” in this sense is positive, taking on the idea of “good or excellent in a tough or strong way”. So someone who is a bad-ass is a very tough or strong person.

These anal emphatics come in two forms. Sometimes “-ass” is added, and sometimes “-assed” is added. In general, they mean the same things and work in the sentences the same way, though you should be alert to subtle differences, such as whether the word that is created works as a noun (as in the case of “hard-ass” and “bad-ass”) or an adjective (as in the case of “crap-ass,” “crazy-ass,” and “sad-assed”).

There are probably enough things happening with “ass” to write a book, but I’ll give you a few more that you’re likely to hear.

If someone says, “I busted ass to get the garden planted this year”, they mean that they worked very hard to sow seeds and plant seedlings.

“That’s a kick-ass computer” means the computer is great or excellent. “To kick ass” means to be good at something. It’s a variation of “to kick someone’s ass”, which means to beat them in a fight or contest.

“Raggedy-ass” means shabby, beat-up, overused, or pathetic. “She trotted out that raggedy-ass story about her trip to Greece again” means that she has told the same story too many times.

“Don’t be bringing those raggedy-assed animals into my house” means that the animals are soiled or generally unclean-looking.

Canadian spelling really exists, he found, but it’s under threat from spellcheckers, which let American and British spellings sail through even if you’ve told the software to use Canadian. (Joe’s also an activist, advocate, and expert on closed-captioning.)

The book is Organizing Our Marvellous Neighbours: How to Feel Good About Canadian English.

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One of the measures of whether or not a word is considered safe, at least by Americans, is whether or not it’s OK to say it on television during prime time, when the whole family might be watching.

“Bitch” is one of those words.

In its simplest, literal use, a bitch is a female dog. That’s only the smallest part of the story.

In slang use, “bitch” is a derogatory word for a woman, and, occasionally, for a man who acts like a woman, especially when it’s not considered the proper way to behave. To be a bitch is to be ball-busting (verbally aggressive towards men), to be disagreeable, to be difficult to get along with.

Calling someone a bitch is still considered impolite enough to make them smack you, yet it’s not anything that would cause fines to be imposed by government agencies on the television shows that use the word in their scripts.

Indeed, women will sometimes call themselves a bitch, without anger or self-hatred. In those cases, they simply mean that a bitch is a tough, uncompromising woman, usually one who knows what she wants and intends to get it.

Even more facetiously (humorously or flippantly), a woman could refer to all of her female friends as “my bitches”. It’s slangy, it’s very informal, but it’s unlikely to offend because it’s the kind of thing you can say about your inner circle that you simply cannot say about outsiders.

It simply means that, for better or worse, with flaws and all, these women are her friends.

Among men, a bitch is a man who is believed to be weak, fragile, whiny, or complaining. For example, if one man calls another his bitch, he means that the other man is under his control and is being dominated physically, emotionally, or socially. “I’m not your bitch, dude. You can’t make me do that.”

It’s also the negative, undesirably feminine aspect of “bitch” that gives the word its place in the slang terms “bitch tits” and “bitch slap”.

“Bitch tits” are fatty breasts on a man, usually the result of being overweight. It’s a curious combination of words, since “tits”, a crass slang term for “breasts”, usually only means a female body part. “Bitch tits” seems redundant; that is, it kind of says that they’re feminine twice.

A “bitch slap” is a hard smack with an open-handed palm on someone’s face. A bitch slap usually results in a satisfying “smack!” sound; at least, it does if you’re the one doing the smacking.

I suppose this is called a “bitch slap” because it’s the kind of hit perceived as more typical of a woman. A man is expected to punch with a closed fist, not smack someone with an open hand.

The noun, as they tend to do, eventually became a verb. To bitch means to complain or gripe in a constant, annoying way. To bitch out someone means to lecture, chastise, or criticise someone.

A son of a bitch is a bad man, or a man who is tough, stubborn, and unkind. It’s a universal term of abuse that you might call someone simply because you don’t agree with them or they don’t agree with you.

“Son of a bitch” is often abbreviated as SOB, which is not pronounced as a word, but as letters: ESS oh bee, with the emphasis on the first letter. It has the same uses as the longer form.

A milder version of “son of a bitch” is son of a gun, although it’s so tame that it doesn’t carry anywhere near the same force as “son of a bitch”.

Both can be used as exclamations of surprise. “Son of a bitch! They stole a billion dollars?” Or “Well, I’ll be a son of a gun! They even stole my toothbrush!”

Similarly, you might say “What a bitch!” when someone has bad luck like losing a mobile phone or having a small automobile accident, the kind of thing that is annoying and costly but not life-threatening.

A bitch, in this case and others like it, is simply a difficult situation or thing. “That nut is a bitch to get off that bolt” means that it’s hard to get off.

One of the few positive forms of “bitch” is bitching, used as an adjective to mean “good” or “great”. It’s usually spelled and pronounced as without the final ‘g’, as “bitchin’ ”.

It’s a bit dated now, but still heard in music and movies occasionally, especially since it never really seems to have become passé (outdated) in California. “He’s got a bitchin’ new car, man.”

To flip a bitch isn’t really negative or positive. It simply means to make a sudden left turn in a car, especially in a place where such a turn is not usually done.

Why the “bitch” here? I’m not completely sure. A much bandied about stereotype is that women are worse drivers than men. I suppose a sudden, incautious left turn could be seen as a sign of bad driving.